Jun 7, 2012

Posted by in My Life's Quirks | 19 Comments

My Life’s Quirks – Apparently, My Readers Like “Penis”

A quick mention, this post is not for the under 18 crowd…or for the faint of heart.

My Blog Stats show me what words people type into search engines that end up bringing them to my blog. Some of the words change from week to week but there are a few that show up on the list consistently.  Like every day.  One of those words is “penis”.  In fact, it’s among the top 10 words/terms used every single day.  When you think about it, that’s a lot of “penis”.  I am aware that this occurs thanks to posts like this one or this one, but it still makes me scratch my head since the name of my blog is “Yummy Men & Kick Ass Chicks” and not “The Yummy Penis”.

Seeing “penis” in my blog’s ‘search engine terms over and over and over made me curious about what sort of things I could find if I typed “penis” in in search bars on different sites.  Yes I actually did that and yes, you are all lucky enough to view my results.  😉

What came up (*tee hee*) when I typed “penis” on Amazon.com:

Penis Extender Stretcher Strap Device – only $41.25!  What a steal!

Jelq Device – I don’t even want to know how this works…it just looks painful!

How to Live with a Huge Penis – a helpful book written by a Doctor and a Reverend O-o

What came up with I typed “penis” on Goodreads:

I have this to read on my Kobo.  Apparently, it’s really fun!

Love the title of this one!  LOL

Nothing to say really…

Ready for this?  The blurb ladies and gentlemen:

The Book Where You’re the Star!

Every scene in Penis Pokey has one thing missing—and you have to complete the picture. Are you up to the challenge?

LOLOL

What came up when I typed “penis” in Google Image Search Engine:

(Now I have to say that this search was borderline disturbing for me.  I mean, the stuff that showed up on the screen…I foresee nightmares for weeks to come.  This search also made me wonder why on earth I do some of the things I do for this blog ;p  I have chosen four of the images that appeared on page one of my search results.  No Way would I show you only the top of the top.  *shudder*)

Let’s focus on the educational aspect and ignore the ick factor, shall we?…

 

Mean.  Funny, but mean.

What.  The.  F*ck.

Of course, no Google Image search for “penis” would be complete without a photo of the incredibly sexy Channing Tatum.  I don’t care if his being there didn’t really make much sense – he was a sight for sore eyes.  He will now, to me, forever be known as ‘the man who saved me from the horrible penises’.

And there you have it.  This post has taught me something:  I will forever leave the searches for “penis” to my readers.  I will never do that again.  *scrubs off invisible cooties*
Apparently, my readers like “penis”.  Just another one of my life’s quirks.

 

  1. Oh wow. I have not laughed so hard in a long time like I just did reading this post.
    Thank you for making my day!
    So, so funny…..

  2. Funny post and wow! That’s a lot of peen. Thanks. I think. 🙂

  3. I should know better than to check a post with penis in the title 😉 Poor bf that sits next to me on his computer.

    Oh and you must read the princess and the penis, it’s hilarious

  4. OK, you cracked me up, but I’m still going eewww!!

  5. Admittedly, when I saw the word “penis” in your post’s title I just had to come see what the heck you were going to talk about. Thanks for that disturbing pic of the piles of them. “What. The. F*ck.” Indeed! LOL

  6. Dying.

    BTW, I couldn’t resist typing “penis” into google—what in the world could be so disturbing, I thought to myself? Mistake! AH MY EYES!!!!

    However, I must say that if you type alternate words, like Cock or Dick, you get far different results. (Especially if your google Safe Search is turned off. Which mine always is, LOL!)

  7. Hahahahaha!!!!! Awesome!!! I fell an irresistible urge to do a Google search now!!!

  8. OMG!!! I’m laughing so hard. Don’t guys know we don’t care how *long* it is?? Where’s the “give it more girth” device???

    And “meatus” Seriously???? BWHAHAHAHAHA!!

    Thanks for the great post! Loved every minute of it.

    Amanda

  9. I am so glad you put in Channing Tatum at the end to cleanse my eyesight!!! I don’t even want to know WTH that picture above him is!!! **disturbing** I can just imagine what came up (hehe) when you typed in penis into google image. You type anything in google image and something utterly gross and random pops up that doesn’t have anything to do with what you are looking for!!! LOL 🙂 The wonders of the internet!! LOL Have a great day!! 😉

  10. Hahahaha, I so needed this post for the laughter. I love where the O’s placement is in the book “A Mind of Its Own”. That was so funny and fairly creative for an art department. It actually makes me want to go and see the blurb on that book.

    You should have included a circumcised penis and a noncircumcised picture. Wait! what the hell am I saying???

    You do realize with so many penises on your blog, you’ve just increase your google search key word ahahaha

  11. Michelle – Glad you enjoyed it. 😉

    CdnMrs – “That’s a lot of peen.” LOL

    blodeuedd – “Poor bf that sits next to me on his computer.” LMAO!

    Laurie – Yes, ew is a good word for it. lol

    Carmel – Hey, I don’t want to have nightmares all on my own. You must all suffer with me! 😉

    Jenn – I’ll have to try typing the alternate words one day. Wait! What am I saying?! 😉

    Amanda B- I dare you. *grin*

    Amanda C – You have to use ‘meatus’ in one of your books. 😉

    Mariann – Yes, Channing is my savior. lol

    Michelle – Well crap, I had not thought of that. *heads desk*

  12. First, I laughed so hard I cried, then coughed, then peed myself! And then I re-read it as I couldn’t help myself!!! THANK YOU!!! I’m pooped now from laughing so hard!! I think that you now have a special place in my life for bravest people as I wouldn’t DARE google those things!! 🙂 my own personal blog post for today pales in comparison to this!! Though mine has cuter, safer pictures!!

  13. Thanks for the LOL!
    Reminds me of when I wanted a pic of a 19th century woman riding side saddle to put in a blog and I typed in “Woman and horses” in the search…..don’t do that on Yahoo!

  14. LOL Thanks for the fun and educational post Julie, oh the things and sacrifices you do for your blog.. 😉

    And besides the title have you noticed on the cover of A Mind of its Own where that O is strategically located? lol ;-D

  15. LOL this is some crazy and wild fun!!! I love the Mind of its own cover. Some of those other images! Welll..words escape me…. lol

  16. LOl and you just guaranteed a google rank for your blog under the keyword ‘penis’ !
    The bulls penis image makes me want to hurl LOL – can’t beleive people eat that!

  17. ok +18

  18. Anonimous girl says:

    Yup, I searched for “penis” on Google and here I am 🙂

  19. loool…
    i like it!

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