Aug 22, 2012

Posted by in Guest Posts | 18 Comments

Seleste deLaney Guest Post plus giveaway

Remy (Remus) is a new character in Seleste deLaney’s Blood Kissed series. If you haven’t read the short story prequels, those are available from Decadent Publishing and many other online retailers.

The first novel in the series, Kiss of Death, releases next Tuesday, August 28th 2012 from Mundania Press.

Too many years of killer vamps have triggered the curse of the Blood Kissed. They’ve awakened the bloodline that can alter their world, because her blood has the power to control them all—even make them destroy each other.

Jocelyn thought her troubles with vampires were over when she drove a stake through her boyfriend Max’s heart a year ago. Even though she’s engaged to Chad now, she’s never really forgotten him. Now Max is back, and Chad is taking her into the heart of the vamp community—and they’re the ones trying to keep her alive. The ones who love her and each seek to claim her for their own. Because once the elders know who she is, they’re all going to want her… or want her dead.

Today, Remy is with us to talk about a subject near and dear to his blood-soaked heart—killing vampires. Take it away, Remy.

There are all sorts of reasons a person might want to kill a vampire. Revenge is always a personal favorite, and let me tell you humans are mighty tasty when they think they have God and right on their side. Blind rage, religious fervor, and panic are other, less delicious options. (Because let’s face it, those only have one seasoning in the blood—hardly worth the effort.)  Then there are the perennially stupid. Trust me when I say we’re doing humanity a favor by thinning that particular herd, and it’s not a gourmet favor. Sewer rats are more palatable.

If, however, you are on a mission of vengeance—vamp killed your spouse, lover, sibling, child… you get the picture—there are some things to keep in mind.

–          If you plan to succeed:

  • Hahahahahahahahaha. Oh, that was insensitive. It is possible, so let’s pretend you’re smarter than the average human on a rampage.
  • Make sure you’re going after a young vampire. The younger we are, the easier we are to kill. Stake through the heart will do it. Sunlight. Beheading. Fire. Most of the standard options. The older and stronger we get, the more screwed you are. And not in the good way.
  • Bring weapons. Lots of weapons. The first one might fail you.
  • Bring friends. Vampires will fight back. When we do, even a young one is likely to kill you if you’re alone. In a group, you stand a chance, or the vampire has a buffet. Either way, someone comes out a winner.
  • Oh, and if you can get superpowers or mystical enhancements, do that. It improves your odds of survival exponentially.

–          If you are simply desperate:

  • Please use fresh lemon juice as cologne. It will cover up the bitterness of your despair.

–          If you have a death wish and expect to fail:

  • Don’t worry, you probably will. You’ll have some silly idea that holy relics will protect you and you’ll probably bring a short stake. If you couldn’t kill a human with it, I guarantee you won’t kill a vamp with it.
  • Arrange your affairs in advance.
  • When you run, and you inevitably will, please lead us on a wild chase toward a nice bottle of wine and some cheese to go with our dinner. Thanks.

 The one other time people tend to go after vampires is as a career. Professional vampire hunters are few and far between. Individuals don’t last long, but groups tend to spring up about once every century or so. If you really have the itch to shove something long and hard into a vampire, I suggest you either let a female seduce you or join one of those groups. There’s a fifty-fifty chance they’ll lead you to a quick death, but if they know what they’re doing, you just might take down a few handfuls of bloodsuckers before your ticket is punched. (And by that I mean someone like me shoves their fist through your chest, rips out your beating heart and munches it like an apple.)

So, yeah, that’s it. Holy relics don’t do anything, aim for the young and weak, bring lots of weapons, and don’t go in alone.

Of course, if your real goal is just to come face to face with a vampire, by all means come to my club, Pandora’s Box. You will more than get your fill. So will we, and odds are, you’ll make it out alive.

You can find Remy in the pages of Kiss of Death, and you can find Seleste all over the internet.
Website 
Blog
Twitter
Facebook Profile
Facebook Author Page

Seleste is offering a digital copy of Kiss of Death to one lucky winner. To enter, just leave a comment below by Sunday August 26th 2012 11:59pm est. And would you like your comment to be worth two entries? Just mark Kiss of Death as “to-read” on Goodreads and you are in twice!  If you mark it on GR, just say so in your comment please.  Giveaway open internationally.  Best of luck to all and THANK YOU Seleste for the chance to win!

And p.s.  I read the prequel Of Course I Try and you can read my review here, if you are curious.  🙂

  1. This sounds great, love the sarcasm! I have marked this as to-read on GR.

  2. Ha ha! Love the bring your friends, vampire buffet comment. Too funny! I definitely need to read this one! I marked it as To Read on GR (profile: http://www.goodreads.com/RebeccaWS )

  3. Arg! Why do keep making me like Remy?! Max. Max. Max. It’s all about Max.

  4. Texas Book Lover says:

    This book sounds exceptionally delicious!

    Thanks for the chance!

    http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13574499-kiss-of-death

  5. I’m so excited for this book to finally come out! And it’s got a great freaking cover! Congrats, Sel!

  6. the book sound awesome!

  7. Sounds interesting and I marked it as to read onGR.

  8. Happy upcoming release, Seleste! Great post, Remy:) Good points to keep in mind if I ever plan on going after a vampire.

    *Added to my GR: yadkny

    yadkny@hotmail.com

  9. Thanks for a great post and thanks for a lovely giveaway! Added to my GR To Read shelf 🙂

  10. Lovely guestpost, that was very much fun. I think I will stay away from vampires altogether.

  11. This looks great! Definitely added it to my “to-read” shelf. Thanks for the giveaway 🙂

  12. Looks amazing and I marked it TBR on goodreads.

    Ashley

  13. Northwoman says:

    OK, I’m always up for new reads so I marked it on Goodread also. And it’s great that it’s a digital giveaway; I’m trying to go mostly that way. But really I want books any way I can get them! 🙂

  14. Congratulations on the book! It sounds good.

    I marked it as to read on Goodreads.

  15. Sounds great. Thanks for sharing!

    Also marked on GR

    bacchus76 at myself dot com

  16. Kristina Haecker says:

    Fantastic post! I love the cover! I marked the book on Goodreads!

    http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/3591573-kristina

  17. Stephine Brentson says:

    Oh wow this sounds soo good even if I don’t win I’m going to buy it! i also marked it to reads on goodreads also http://www.goodreads.com/StarryNightBookReviews

    Thanks you Steph
    s.c.brentson@gmail.com

  18. Thanks for coming by, everyone! And thanks for the GoodReads adds. Even if you aren’t the winner, I hope you’ll check the book out.

    And a huge thanks to Julie for having me <3

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