Silly Stuff – What Men Really Mean

(Can I help with dinner?)
Translated: “Why isn’t it already on the table?”

(I’m going fishing)
Translated: I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and sit in a boat with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.”

(Uh huh, sure honey,” or, “Yes, dear.)
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.

(It would take too long to explain)
Translated: “I haven’t the foggiest.”

(I was listening to you-It’s just. I have lots of things on my mind)
Translated: “Is that woman over there wearing a bra?”

(Take a break honey, you’re working too hard)
Translated: “I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.”

(That’s interesting, dear.)
Translated: “Are you still talking?”

(You know how bad my memory is.)
Translated: “I remember the theme song to “The Beverly Hillbillies,” the address of the first girl I ever kissed, the license plate numbers of every car I’ve ever owned, I just forgot your birthday.”

(I dunno..I was just thinking about you, & I got you these roses.)
Translated: “The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.”

(Oh, don’t fuss. I just cut myself, it’s no big deal.)
Translated: “I have actually severed a limb, but I will bleed to death before I admit that I am hurt.”

(I’m not lost. I know exactly where we are.)
Translated: “No one will ever see us alive again.

(You look terrific.)
Translated: “Oh God, please don’t try on MORE clothes.”

(I’ve got my reasons for what I’m doing)
Translated: “. . . and I sure hope I think of some soon.”

(I can’t find it)
Translated: “It didn’t fall into my out stretched hands, so I’m completely clueless.”

(What did I do this time?)
Translated: “What did you catch me at?”

(I heard you.)
Translated: “I have no idea what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don’t find out.”

(You know I could never love anyone else.)
Translated: “I am used to the way you yell at me and I realize it could be worse.”