Jul 21, 2014

Posted by in Question | 13 Comments

Question – Does Reading Romance Make You Question Whether You Are Normal?

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I, like you, read romance novels.  Be it paranormal romance or urban fantasy with romantic elements or contemporary romance, ROMANCE is the word of the day.  I like reading about the thrill a hero and heroine get when they first meet and first realize they are meant to be together.  I like the passion and the electricity new love, and even established love, present on the page.

But I have to admit that sometimes that passion makes me wonder if I’m truly normal when it comes to romance and sex or if the heroine in the book is the anomaly.

Here are a few examples, off the top of my head:

Example number one – the sweaty/sexy mess of a man.

In the book:  The hero has just come back from a run and enters the room.  He is a sweaty and grimy mess.  The heroine takes one look at him and her knees go weak.  He’s not sweaty.  To her, he’s glistening and the salty taste of him makes her heart pitter-patter.  She runs across the room to jump his bones.  “Damn, you are so sexy!” she mutters.

In my life:  Jason comes in from mowing the lawn.  He is a sweaty and grimy mess.  My heart racing, I cover my nose and run across the room…in order to flee the sweat and the smell.  “Damn!  For the love of all things holy go take a shower!” I mutter.

Example number two – the “I want to have sex with you all the time” couple.

In the book:  The heroine has just come home after a 14 hour day of lawyering at the office.  She is so tired, she feels as though she will not even make it through supper and up to her bed.  Suddenly, the hero shows up at her door.  The mere sight of him wakes up her senses, making her not only not tired anymore but all too aware of every one of her senses.  He crooks his finger in her direction and she runs across the room to jump his bones.  Until 4am.

Same thing happens when she sees him at the grocery store, in the car or at yoga class.  Anywhere and anytime she sees him, she suddenly finds energy to bang his brains out.

In my life:  I’ve just finished working a 10 hour day.  I throw a load of laundry in and proceed to start making supper.  I am just looking forward to the two minutes I may have to read before having to get up off my chair to flip over the chicken.  Jason comes home from work.  He looks at me, all smouldery.  He crooks his finger at me.  I give him the finger.  Is he kidding me?!  I’m actually sitting down for the first time in 5 hours!  I’m flippin’ tired!  The last thing I want to do right now is what he has in mind.  If I could, I would be in bed right now.  Alone and asleep.

Example number three – a different kind of “I want to have sex with you all the time” couple.

In the book:  The heroine is fast asleep.  She is having the most amazing dream…but her reality is about to be even better than her dream.  The hero, who is lying next to her, decides to wake her up with his…yes, you guessed it.  It’s 3 am.  She awakens, completely aroused and raring to go.  They continue to make love until the sun rises and both get out of bed at their usual time with a smile on their face.

In my life:  Jason finally decides to drag his ass into bed after a night of gaming.  It’s 3am.  He is feeling a little dandy.  He looks at me (I am fast asleep, drooling adorably on my pillow – and yes, when I drool, it’s adorable) and he smiles.  He pushes the covers aside and proceeds to gently rub my back.  I wake up a little bit, realizing that someone is trying to wake me at…holy crap it’s 3 o’clock!  In the morning!  I have two more hours of sleep left!  I smack Jason’s hand away.  He does not let this deter him.  He rubs the back of my leg.  I give him the finger.  No, that won’t stop him.  He starts at my ankle then slowly, sensuously tickles the side of my leg and moves up to cup my…I punch him in the nose.  “I am trying to sleep!  What the hell are you doing?!  It’s three in the f*cking morning!  I have to get up in 2 hours!  Are you insane?!  What the hell Jason?!” I exclaim.  I then turn over, mumbling to myself, then attempt to go back to sleep, all too aware of Jason coming to lay next to me, his pride a little hurt.

Okay, you see what I am talking about here?  In almost all of the books that have romantic elements in them, the heroine is almost always happy, perky and raring to go when her man is.  And yes, I’m talking sex here.  But me, not so much.  I am tired and busy and get headaches and “get headaches” and enjoy my sleep and enjoy my quiet reading time.  As much as I love my husband, I most certainly do NOT want to jump his bones every second of every day!  But is it just me?  Maybe the heroines in the books I read are what is considered normal and I am the anomaly.  I question this sometimes and wonder…am I even normal?

Has reading romance novels ever made you question whether or not you are normal?

 

  1. As much as we love the genre, it’s true — some things, especially sex, are . . . exaggerated? Unrealistic? All the above and more! lol But I suppose that’s what makes them a great getaway for so many of us; typically, they are not like our normal life.

    Fun post — I snorted at your descriptions of how it goes in your house. 🙂 So, so true!

    Enjoy!
    TBQ

  2. I do want to jump bf’s bones a lot. But then of course when he wants to it’s late and I am all sleeepy lol

  3. We are normal, the books are abnormal… especially with age and after many years married. Of course you like to have sex, but not like rabbits. Maybe that was the case when I was at least 10 years younger, but right now… I need my beauty sleep.
    Sweaty and dirty… NO WAY!! Take a shower first.

  4. Great post! and very true. Sometimes I just have to laugh at some of the situations where these couples manage to have sex, and other times all I can think is “across a desk? on a counter? Ouch, that’s got to hurt”. The other situation that cracks me up is when the woman has an orgasm just from him stroking her breasts. Who is able to do that???

  5. So, so right! I’ll just go straight to the gold, here – the orgasms. Really?!? Every time? From just that? Multiple times? Yah, not in my world! And where are all these amazingly endowed men? Some of that is just ridiculous. 🙂

  6. This post certainly put a smile on my face this morning. I don’t know any woman who has taken care of kids all day, or worked her buns off, being ready-for-Eddie on a moments notice. The sweaty thing is never happening. So I guess you are totally normal Julie. Otherwise there are a whole lot of us just as abnormal. And to answer your question; no, I have always realized that novel heroines and heroes have it so much easier than I do.

  7. I think most romance books show us something that is very unrealistic in many ways, which is maybe why we love to read about it so much 🙂 I think timing plays a very big part in a relationship that isn’t all new… and it never seems to matter in stories. I would love to be able to want to jump Mr. Lex’ bones every time he winked at me, or looked at me with smoldering eyes… alas… the timing sometimes sucks 😉

    Great post, Julie!

  8. I was sent to this post by Carmel at Rabid Reads 🙂
    I love this post! Most sex scenes in books make me roll my eyes. The going all night (ow!) and morning sex (ew) are ridiculous sometimes.

  9. The Book Queen – It would be very boring to read about what really happens I suppose 😉

    blodeuedd – Gotta love timing lol

    Bookaholic Cat – Yeah…ew 😉

    Jen – Yes! The pain! I wonder about that too. Like how on earth could two people actually do that on that piece of furniture without it smashing to bits lol

    Lizzie – At least 6 orgasms every time they do it. I know, right? LOL

    Dot – They DO have it easier!

    Lexxie – Timing makes complete sense. 🙂

    Nereyda – Ow and ew for sure! I completely agree.

  10. I would LOVE it if my hubby tried to wake me up after a night of gaming. LOL

  11. Northwoman says:

    This was hysterically funny Julie! Great post. I think the books are a snippet of time at the beginning of a relationship when it is more like that. But some people just like sex more than others. LOL.

  12. Julie, this was so funny – you have a great sense of humour. I was giggling all the way through this post. I think one of my pet hates about romance is the morning sex. Yes, it’s great if you’ve both had a shower, cleaned your teeth, removed the eye-bogies, but this never happens in romance. It seems these heroines don’t mind morning breath or other smelly parts. 😉

    On a side note. Can anyone join in with your questions on their own blog?

  13. Jennifer – I can’t tell if you are being sarcastic lol

    Northwoman – Yes, it seems some people are just perpetually horny lol

    Carolyn – Thanks! And yes, anyone can join in with my Question. Rabid Reads posts it on Thursdays and I know a few other blogs use it once in a while. 🙂

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