Jul 6, 2011

Posted by in Silly Stuff | 22 Comments

Silly Stuff – (Awful) Pick-Up Lines.

During my blogoversay celebration, I sent Gena Showalter’s Catch a Mate to Deanna to read and review for me.  I LOVE that book.  One of the funnest things about that book (apart from the great characters, the laugh out loud scenes, the heartfelt storylines and the steamy moments) are the cheesy pick-up lines that Gena writes at the beginning of each chapter.  I thought it would be fun to look for awful pick-up lines online for this week’s Silly Stuff.  I knew they would be funny, but man some are just terrible!  I wonder if anyone ever falls for these.

Here are the best of the worst out of the ones I found:

Didn’t anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew…

My name’s [your name].  That’s so you know what to scream.

Nice shoes, wanna fuck?

The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I like Spaghetti, Let’s go fuck!

(As she is leaving) Hey aren’t you forgetting something?  (What?)  Me!

I must be a snowflake, because I’ve fallen for you.

If stars would fall every time I would think of you, the sky would soon be empty.

You be the Dairy Queen and I’ll be your Burger King:  You treat me right, and I’ll do it your way.

You look like a hooker I knew in Fresno.

You’re ugly but you intrigue me.

Do you want to see something swell?

(Used while you and a male friend wear a bib. Walk up and stare at breasts)  Mama!

Are you gay? (No.)  Wow, me neither.  Let’s have sex.

Are you going to the party tonight?   (What party?)  The one in your mouth, everybody’s cumming.

So what do you say ladies?  If a man approached you with one of these, would you slap him across the face or knee him where it counts?  😉

  1. Lol, oh I absolutely love the cartoon! Haha.

    I heard the best one in that movie…some movie anyway. And now I can’t remember it, something about being Irish and “dublin” be the sight of her

  2. Haha, yeah that book was the best and the pick-up lines at the beginning of each chapter were hilarious! These are just terrible and I think I’d do a combination of punching him in the face and kneeing him where it counts. LOL.

  3. LOL! Those were awful.I think if I was still in the game and anybody used those I’d just laugh.
    When I met my husband I was talking about music with a mutual friend and said something to the effect that the harmonica was an underused instrument. My husband, who I’d met about 30 seconds earlier and is a harmonica player, said he’d teach me how to play. My response; “you want to teach me how to play your mouth organ? Nice try!”
    Luckily he didn’t give up.

  4. blodeuedd – I’ve heard that one (but not in person thank goodness). It’s sort of clever actually…lol.

    Deanna – I agree with your assessment. 😉

    Sara – I love your story! Very funny.

  5. I really don’t know what would be my reaction to one of those lines, I guess it depends a lot who is saying them. DH could say something like that and I would laugh out laugh. Somebody different I guess I would just ignore him.

    Those lines are hilarious, and you know how much I liked that book.
    Here are my favorite quotes from Catch a Mate:

    * Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
    * If it’s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
    * Let’s do breakfast tomorrow. Shall I call you or nudge you?
    * What do you say we go back to my room and do some math. Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs and multiply.
    * Do you wash your pants with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.

    As always great post.

  6. Jennifer E says:

    Those are great but bad LOL!

  7. Hahaha that made my day at work so much better!

  8. The funniest has to be:

    You look like a hooker I knew in Fresno.

    LOL! This post is too funny. Let’s see how about:

    Got any fries with that shake?

    Baby you must be tired. (Why?) Cause you’ve been runnin’ through my mind all day.

    Screw me if I am wrong, but haven’t we met before?

    That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.

  9. Bookaholic Cat – I remember my jaw dropping the first time I read that ‘you are what you eat’ one. lol

    Jennifer – Very well said.

    Natalie – I’m glad. 🙂

    Jen – The ‘screw me if I’m wrong’ one is actually kinda funny. lol

  10. Love it – especially that cartoon.

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